GLADOS

Don't ask me what GLADOS stands for, she's an artificial intelligence in the game of Portal by the worlds best computer gamers at Valve. As my blogs are always long, I broke it into chapters in case that might help.

"Chapter 1: Fiction is about Truth"

Today I was talking with a coworker who shall remain nameless (Casey). It's hard to track the thread of a conversation, let alone any of the ones I'm involved with. It started with an earlier topic about what makes a hero: skills, character, or a combination of both? Friction revealed that a hero must possess both skills and character...a third component of destiny was also added as a skilled good man can still be hit by a stray arrow leaving a "lesser" character to carry on with the heroing.

It was from this last thought that a new question arose. What does it mean to be the best at anything? Is there even a best? One view said that there was always a best. Another view said that there was no best, only best in a certain time and place set to a specific task. If that hero was hit by an arrow than for the task of victory, the "lesser" character is in fact the best. It's similar to the illusion of risk. Not to draw this out, but it begs the question doesn't best rely most heavily then on destiny? After all, the "best" man gets killed then what does it matter that he was best?

Anyone who has known me long, knows that I have a philosophy that says "All things are like all other things." By that I mean that patterns repeat. The physical mirrors the spiritual, and the each mirrors themselves. Combine this with how desire always leads to God, and you come to a stark realization. What makes a good story, mirrors God's story. Why do we long for one guy to come and save us? Because God's plan of redemption is about one man coming down to save us. Why do we want our heroes to struggle? Because our lives are struggle in the spiritual. 

Why do we love stories at all? Because a story means there is meaning! There is something worth remembering and retelling! We are each created in the image of a God, can God do anything that has no meaning? Likewise, we crave for our own actions to have meaning! To be remembered!

"Chapter 2: Destiny or Triumph?"

This was the essence of the real question behind the questions. The question is not about whether a hero in a story is one by destiny or personal triumph, the question is: is my place in God's story merely one of destiny or merely personal triumph? 

Each has it's consequence. If it is destiny then anyone could "do my job" and my personal choices seem of no meaning. If is of triumph, then what of the man cut down in his prime who never had a chance to hero despite his best efforts? The short answer is that destiny cannot be denied. No matter how much we would like to think it personal triumph the fact is our triumphing only can last as long as God permits it. Your triumph is limited by the pleasure of God. Try to deny it and then follow that by saying "Even God can't stop me." 

That leaves us with destiny and the despair that our actions are without meaning. After all, can God's purposes be thwarted? But still we are in the image of God, if our Father's actions have meaning then so must his sons and daughters. What meaning can there be in person who does only what they are meant to do? 

Suppose the question is wrong. I have come to believe in paradoxes. They are the best descriptions we have for things we cannot describe, but are still true. We assume that the purpose of choice is outcome...what if choice is its own end? Suppose a bear attacks a child, his mother sees and goes to intervene. Does she have a reasonable hope of changing the outcome? She might "scare" the bear off. More likely she'll get torn limb from limb, but even if the bear changes course it wasn't because of her choice it was because of the bear's choice. Was her choice then meaningless?

Tomorrow, Chapter 3...

Does God have faith?

I have my own opinion mostly formed, but there's some debate about texts.

Rom 12:3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.

It seems to me that if God has 'dealt' (alternately: divided to...) men a measure of faith. From where did he divide it? Even if it came from another creature, then where did their faith come from? It seems that faith had to come from God's supply. But then is it like a so-called vestigial organ, something he has on hand to give to others or is it something he himself exercises?

Does God have a quality that he doesn't use? I can't imagine that being true. He's perfect, can he have more than he needs or does he have exactly what he needs?

It seems to me then that God must not just have faith, but use faith. My thought then is that faith has nothing to do with expectation, but potential. After all God cannot expect anything! He can still then believe in what can happen. For example, does God ever command what can't be done? If all commandments could be kept than he commands them on our ability (with him of course) to obey, yet sometimes we do not obey. I would say this is faith, he believes we can obey (and he is right).

I tend to view God to us as a very mirroring relationship. All of God's commands stem from "because I am the LORD" the implication being related to our being in his image. Or...

Joh 5:19 Then answered Jesus and said unto them, Verily, verily, I say unto you, The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son likewise.

Therefore, to have faith we must have seen faith. Its a circle of God showing and us following. God loves us so that we can love him and each other. God shows faith so we can have faith in him and each other. God gives life so we can give life. And in all steps its him through us. God perfecting love, faith, giving life through us.

Thoughts?

two things you do not talk about.

Government and religion are supposed to be the two things you do not talk about, but I have often wondered as both democrates and republicans argue about which party God supports, what would God want for our Govt. In the old testament God set up his Government with himself as the suprememe ruller, one religion, and utter dependence on his leadership. There were also men who heard directly from God and you had to trust to some extent that what that man heard was true. That government at least in that form no longer exist, but I would be interested in opening up the topic to see what everyone else thinks before I put in many of my own thoughts. In light of the messiah, and the laws of God, what would God's govt look like?

When did David meet Saul

Well this is a rather random and possibly insignificant topic but I was reading through the story of David and I found some kind of weird discrepency(for lack of a better word). David seems to have met Saul when he was called for to play the harp for him. As you may recall a Saul was a tortured soul and Davids playing would make his suffering subside. However when David who comes to fight Goliath Saul seems as though he doesn't know david at all. One commontary I read says that the order is messed up and David actually played after he killed Goliath. The problem with this theory is that one of Saul's men recomend David as though the King has never heard of him before. The qualifications that are attributed to david would seem to imply that it was after Goliath, but then why was it talod in a different order and why would the man recomend David as though Saul doesn't know him? Strange. I will look further into it and post again if I have found anything.

Can God talk clearly?

This is in many ways related to the last post, but I thought I would go ahead and write it as a new one because there is sort of a new spin to it. As I have struggled to make my recent move to the UK. I have been plaqued by buerocratic red tape. Besides the startling fact that most Govt agencies accept the ones that make sure you pay your taxes, are incompitent and take forever to do things, I was realy surprised to find out how much they can screw up you life and your plans. If you don't do this or that correctly they will mess up critical things that you need, and what is more they are never clear on how to do things so that you don't screw them up, so in the end you just stumble through it by trial and error and hope for the best. This brings me to my point. At what point when something becomes so hard do you stop trying to exhaust your options and accpet it as the will of God for you not to do that. Is hardship a sign. If you are doing Gods will should you expect doors to fly open for you? Or as is usually the case with me do you have to pound on a door for a good while until it falls of the hinges and then walk through? Is this how God works, can't he just speak clearly and tell you what he wants you to do? Why do we always have to wonder if this road block is going to be the one that breaks us? Judging from what I have seen in the story of Moses I am inclined to believe that God gives us trials to further reveal his glory by overcoming them for us. Then again moses had very clear instructions telling him what he was supposed to do. I came to England because it seemed to be a good move to make for my family and for what I want to do with my future. I asked God if that was what he wanted for me but he didn't say anything. So why has every step (and I do mean every single step) been met with dificulty and unusual problems? At what point do I quit or do I keep beating down doors until they open? Why doesn't God speak clearly what he wants? Perhaps I am unwilling to hear, but as a parent I have ways of making my children listen to me. Do you guys look at events in your life as a sign of God's will?

The plans of Mice and Men

Since the blog is silent I thought I'd throw out another topic. I think it's one we all must wrestle with from time to time. That is, how do we know God's plans in our lives vs. our own?

To explain, let me give a little background overview of how I have approached the issue. In the beginning, the first thing God commanded was to multiply, and subdue the Earth. God doesn't tell Adam what that is supposed to look like. He gives him free reign within the few commandments he's given, and of course I note in this that Man's authority descends and therefore is subordinate to God's authority. Next, God brings the animals to man "to see what he would call them." If God wanted to control man's every thought, word, and deed than it would seem logical that he would give Adam commands or inspiration as to what to call them; it would seem that is not God's intention than. Next, God who is omnipresent, all knowing, and willing to protect man by giving him commands to preserve his life...chooses to be absent in the day of temptation, in fact it seems based on how God "walked" in the cool of Garden that even though he can be everywhere at once, he isolated his presence down to a small part in the garden at anyone time. So it's not a stretch to imagine that he was frequently absent from the garden.

From this I gather that God's way is for us to submit our ways to his, rather than holding our every action awaiting the go ahead. 

Further, I consider the breath of scripture and considering the long gaps in people's lives between which God does nothing obvious to people (though no doubt he was ever working in the background), which leads me again to reinforce the same idea that God wants both to play, but also to sit back and coach. Just as a Father intervenes to save and to teach, but often stands back to let the child discover and practice. Still more, I consider all the commands where God instructs us to pursue our desires, ambitions etc...

Deu 12:20 When the LORD thy God shall enlarge thy border, as he hath promised thee, and thou shalt say, I will eat flesh, because thy soul longeth to eat flesh; thou mayest eat flesh, whatsoever thy soul lusteth after. 
21 If the place which the LORD thy God hath chosen to put his name there be too far from thee, then thou shalt kill of thy herd and of thy flock, which the LORD hath given thee, as I have commanded thee, and thou shalt eat in thy gates whatsoever thy soul lusteth after. 

God wants us to pursue our desires...

Deu 15:9 Beware that there be not a thought in thy wicked heart, saying, The seventh year, the year of release, is at hand; and thine eye be evil against thy poor brother, and thou givest him nought; and he cry unto the LORD against thee, and it be sin unto thee. 
10 Thou shalt surely give him, and thine heart shall not be grieved when thou givest unto him: because that for this thing the LORD thy God shall bless thee in all thy works, and in all that thou puttest thine hand unto. 

God will bless us in our works AND in all that we put our hands unto, if we obey.

Pro 12:5 The thoughts of the righteous are right: but the counsels of the wicked are deceit. 

Pro 16:3 Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established. 

Pro 21:5 The thoughts of the diligent tend only to plenteousness; but of every one that is hasty only to want. 

In all three of those the word thoughts can be rendered plans, it is the same word that is rendered in Jeremiah as "I know the PLANS I have for you..." So it would seem that God is interested in establishing the plans of the righteous/commit their works unto him. I have had it presented to me that, a man should have no plans rather wait on the Lord, but if that is the case than what point is there in having a mind at all? Why am I given the capacity to think if my only function is to wait and listen? My experience, if my thoughts are necessarily useless to God, is that my thoughts only get in the way of listening to God, therefore it would seem that thinking is a distraction from God. 

I reject this because what point would there be in study if my mind was not to be engaged? Sure the Spirit discerns the scriptures, but doesn't he use the mind to process? How can a man be prudent/cunning if he can't understand where he's going or make any plans for it?

Pro 13:16 Every prudent man dealeth with knowledge: but a fool layeth open his folly. 

Pro 14:8 The wisdom of the prudent is to understand his way: but the folly of fools is deceit. 

Pro 14:15 The simple believeth every word: but the prudent man looketh well to his going. 

Pro 14:18 The simple inherit folly: but the prudent are crowned with knowledge. 

The cunning (meaning the one who makes bare in other words he sees through), deals with knowlegde; understands where's he's come, is and goes; looks to what's about to happen and grows in knowledge.

Pro 22:3 A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished. 

Pro 27:12 A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself; but the simple pass on, and are punished. 

The prudent man must forsee evil. If this was meant to be "the praying man listens to God and does seemingly random things because God sees evil coming," then why the emphasis on knowledge and understanding? Why be cunning, if all I have to be is tuned in?

Having said that, what do we then do with the times when God does intervene? We are not told of any reason that Abraham wanted to leave his father's house and strike out on his own, traveling through countries where he felt afraid for his life. Or Hagar, did she think it desirable to be kicked out of Abraham's protection? Did the apostles think the ministry was a better idea than fishing or tax collecting?

Clearly God also has his own plans...destinies if you will, a purpose higher than our own plans...left to ourselves, I think most of a our plans would end up being quite petty anyways. But, and this is where it meets the real world, it would be easy to have an arch angel or a booming audible voice come to me with a message and go...hmm...ok, whatever you say. But I've never had that happen. In my experience, my 'promptings' come in the form of doors closed in my face, biblical prohibitions, obvious wisdom, and usually lastly somekind of intangible in that general order. I suppose sometimes, I do have a very persistant urging that won't go away, but I can't think of anything more major than personal confession or a hard word that that has influenced. Not to say those are minor things, but I've never felt some really powerful inner urging to...move somewhere or marry someone or buy a house, sell a car, anything.

But I have met people who have very strong feelings about such things. And in some cases I see a lot of their choices and I can't believe that God would be so random. And I mean that, I don't believe God is so random. It seems almost cruel to constantly tear a man's work down or to never let him see any purpose behind his labour. I mean which is worse to have no goals because you believe God is just going to take them away, to have goals only to feel that God is tearing you away from each of them before you can accomplish it, or to firmly hold to a plan (that has no sin mind you) and be unable to tell when God is trying to change your course?

I'm not saying those are the only possibilities, or that I completely hashed out anything. But these are actually some questions that I am personally facing. It started the other day...well actually it started earlier, but that detail isn't important. When I had someone else, who strikes me as making more effort to be atuned to the Spirit, suggest to me that a course of action that I had thought much over and committed considerable resource to accomplish believing it was the right course was in fact going to lead to considerable evil consequences. In this particular case the reason was based on a number of dreams that I had had, and that another third party had had. I pretty much rejected the idea for whatever reason, but I am still thinking and praying about it.

In my search, I kept coming to two things that recurred. On the one hand, I am increasingly frustrated by the idea because, I'm like "how can it possibly be of God to have them 'waste' all this time, effort, and money, forsake everything that was prayerfully and carefully planned before; all on account of a couple of dreams that are vague and the interpretations do not account for the whole dream?" 

But the other thing that came to mind was a question. See, these series of dreams do seem to share similar elements...and the people to whom these interpretations have occurred are people to whom a certain amount of...preconception seems to have been given. For example in the current situation there's a person who dreamed about meeting people by face and name before she actually met them. In another, case someone who wasn't involved in this incident saw a poster and then interpreted it as a warning, passed it on to another set of people, who failed to relay it to the subject of the warning and that person became deathly ill from an unusual incident. 

So the question that came to me is, if it were God trying to turn the wheel...what would I take from him that I would accept as proof? How could I test him and know that it was him speaking? Especially if my understanding of the situation is opposite of the interpretation?

Fire away...

Mitzvah of the unbetrothed woman

Exo 22:16 And if a man entice a maid that is not betrothed, and lie with her, he shall surely endow her to be his wife. 
17 If her father utterly refuse to give her unto him, he shall pay money according to the dowry of virgins. 

As I was studying the concept of betrothal (thanks again to everyone for their support!), I came across the commands regarding rape in Deu 22:23-29, I remembered it and of course noted the difference in penalty for betrothed vs. the unbetrothed and it reminded me of the commandment above. What's stood out to me, is that there is no sin offering in regard to this command. No talk of iniquity. It seems in fact that the iniquity would not be in the fact that the man enticed the woman and they had relations, rather it would be if he failed to endow her to be his wife. This struck as odd considering the modern view on what fornication is. 

So I'd like to hear other thoughts on this. Secondly, what is the spiritual significance of this? If God gives human relations as a picture of his relationship to man...for example, why are people in the church so dead set against divorce, because if God allows it than what does it imply about his marriage to individuals of the church. So what does this imply that it seems that a man could sleep with a woman and there be no sin unless he fails to endow her to his wife? And if we can answer that, then what is the significance of the laws of rape in the case of the unbetrothed where instead of death the man must again pay and marry?